angelic_archer | Where Words Fail, Music Speaks (for dulcet

Alec had been sneaking into the concert hall for years. Since he was a little boy feeling lost in a family that ignored him unless it was to groom him into the ideal heir. He practiced and studied and part of him had longed for something he hadn't understood until he'd heard music from the symphony drifting through the air one night. Then Alec had finally understood what was missing. It'd been like finding a missing part of his heart and he'd soon started sneaking out at night to be able to hear them play. He eventually found every place in the city where he could sneak in and listen to the sweeping music without being noticed.

That was how he'd found Sebastian. A kind, mundane boy with the Sight who hadn't been afraid of a boy with marks all over his skin who wanted to listen to others play, wishing he could learn to make soul lifting music. But Shadowhunters weren't supposed to focus on trivial things like music. Sebastian had made him realize it wasn't bad to want those things he couldn't have. That others loved music just as much as Alec did. He finally didn't feel weird or like he was disappointing anyone.

They'd been best friends for years until Sebastian's family had moved away. They'd found a way to communicate, letters written that Alec carefully edited to make sure that Sebastian never found out about the Shadow World. Then the letters had stopped and Alec had retreated into quiet solitude, being the leader his family expected and his siblings needed. But sometimes...

Sometimes he had to sneak out, always finding his way to the place where he'd met Sebastian. There he could let go of all the expectations and be himself instead of the person his family needed. A few carefully placed runes kept anyone from noticing him as he crept to through the building to the walkways that Sebastian had shown him. The perfect place to listen without having anyone notice him. Sitting down in their favorite spot, Alec sighed, closing his eyes to focus on the music but he couldn't stop thinking about Sebastian and how much he missed him.

There were times when Alec worried that something terrible had happened to his friend and others that he was able to convince himself that Sebastian was just busy. Hopefully he was safe and had just forgotten about the 'invisible boy' he'd met while listening to the symphony. Maybe someday he'd remember and Alec would hear from him again.

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Realizing just how nervous Alec was Sebastian sat up so he could see his face and began slowly pressing soothing kisses. "You won't hurt me."

He had absolute faith that Alec would never hurt him. No one had ever made him feel like this. Not even Jack in the beginning. But he and Alec had known each other for a long time. Even if they had been separated.

"Do you trust me?" He asked brushing his fingers over Alec's skin, soothing touches to go with his soothing kisses. He loved Alec so very much and he wanted to show him more than the basics so he wouldn't be nervous anymore. Picking up the bottle again he kissed Alec on the lips and popped the cap open.

But I could. Alec didn't say it aloud but he knew it was true. Nephilim were stronger than Mundanes. It was a possibility but if Sebastian trusted him, then Alec would trust himself. He wouldn't ever hurt someone he loved. Especially when Sebastian didn't know why Alec was so nervous about it. He thought Alec meant doing something related to making love to him not realizing that his boyfriend had traits that most people didn't.

He couldn't break that trust by losing control of himself like he had while he'd first been training.

Sliding his hand from Sebastian's hair, he cupped his lover's jaw and kissed him softly. "I've always trusted you. I'll never hurt you and I know you'll never hurt me."

But that didn't mean he still wasn't worried... or was until Sebastian started touching and kissing him again. His eyes drifted closed and he focused on the feeling of Sebastian on his lap. Not the just the arousal that hummed through him but the way he felt like he didn't have to hide. He could want this without feeling guilty or being afraid.

Tugging his boyfriend closer, he deepened the kiss, licking and nibbling until he realized that he should be helping his boyfriend. "I know how this part works. If you want me to help..."

"Please." The word came out almost breathless before Sebastian was kissing Alec again, his head thick with arousal as he imagined Alec touching him so intimately.

And then he realized he had sort of answered the question and added a quick, "yes." And then again, "Yes, please." Just to be sure he didn't sound too demanding. Wasn't he the one who should be leading if Alec wasn't as experienced? Not that he minded. He absolutely didn't mind at all. Alec could pin him down and drive him crazy and he wouldn't have any complaints.

There were so many things he wanted to do with Alec, to Alec, but they had time. They had so much more time than they had been given before and he felt truly blessed to have been given a second chance to be with him.

Returning the kiss, Alec forgot why he was nervous, shyness turning to aching desire. No matter how cautious he wanted to be, he couldn't resist the temptation to touch his lover. His hands slid lightly over Sebastian's back, a faint shock moving along his fingertips that caused him to moan against Sebastian's lips. He wasn't sure what had caused that but it made him grind up against his lover, need coiling tight before he realized he needed to calm down.

Breaking the kiss, he struggled for breath, nuzzling Sebastian's jaw. Sebastian had done this before. He knew what he liked and he'd told Alec to trust him. That meant he'd tell him if Alec did something he didn't enjoy. "Just go slow, right?" It sounded like a stupid, obvious thing to say but Alec found the words reassuring. He knew something about this and made him feel less awkward as he blushed and offered Sebastian his hand instead of taking the bottle from him.

Sebastian leaned in to kiss Alec again, soothing reassurance that everything would be okay so long as they were together. "Slow is good and can be very, very pleasurable." He teased softly, tugging gently on Alec's lip and placing the bottle in his hand.

He wanted Alec's first time to be amazing for him. Their first time together and the thought made his heart race. Alec had appeared so suddenly and turned his entire world right side up again. He hadn't felt so lost and alone when he was with Alec. Alec had given him his friendship, his trust, his smiles, his love of music, and he had never forgotten him. With Alec he could be real and alive and open and free. He could be himself. And that was the greatest gift he'd ever been given.

Letting out a stuttering breath at the attention to his lip, he took the bottle, telling himself not to be nervous. "Better with someone else that you love." The blush didn't diminish as he spoke but it was the truth. Alec had experimented a bit but it hadn't been the same. Curiosity and hormones couldn't compare to having someone he loved kissing and touching him. Even chaste kisses were more intoxicating than what Alec had tried alone.

Opening the bottle, he tried not to think too much about what he was doing. How unsexy the details were even if they were necessary. Alec knew that wasn't that they'd remember. It'd be the taste of the kisses they had shared, the whisper of breath against skin, the gentle tease of fingers tracing patterns of love and friendship.

Friendship and love that neither one of them had expected to find again. After Sebastian had left, Alec had felt like some light had dimmed, leaving him even more in the shadows until he wasn't sure who he was anymore. But now he knew he was where he was meant to be... why else would they have met again in suck an unlikely way?

Kissing along Sebastian's chest, he ignored how his heart raced as he made sure that the lube wasn't cold. For a moment, he wasn't sure what to do. Should he tease his lover before starting to touch him so intimately? His thoughts began spiraling into doubt as he used his other hand to trace patterns along Sebastian's hip and thigh, almost brushing his arousal but not quite.

Pulling away, he told himself to quit being nervous and started sliding one finger delicately along sensitive skin waiting for Sebastian's reaction. "Is it okay? I'll stop if it's not."

Where Words Fail, Music Speaks (for dulcet_cellist)

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