angelic_archer | Where Words Fail, Music Speaks (for dulcet

Where Words Fail, Music Speaks (for dulcet_cellist)

Alec had been sneaking into the concert hall for years. Since he was a little boy feeling lost in a family that ignored him unless it was to groom him into the ideal heir. He practiced and studied and part of him had longed for something he hadn't understood until he'd heard music from the symphony drifting through the air one night. Then Alec had finally understood what was missing. It'd been like finding a missing part of his heart and he'd soon started sneaking out at night to be able to hear them play. He eventually found every place in the city where he could sneak in and listen to the sweeping music without being noticed.

That was how he'd found Sebastian. A kind, mundane boy with the Sight who hadn't been afraid of a boy with marks all over his skin who wanted to listen to others play, wishing he could learn to make soul lifting music. But Shadowhunters weren't supposed to focus on trivial things like music. Sebastian had made him realize it wasn't bad to want those things he couldn't have. That others loved music just as much as Alec did. He finally didn't feel weird or like he was disappointing anyone.

They'd been best friends for years until Sebastian's family had moved away. They'd found a way to communicate, letters written that Alec carefully edited to make sure that Sebastian never found out about the Shadow World. Then the letters had stopped and Alec had retreated into quiet solitude, being the leader his family expected and his siblings needed. But sometimes...

Sometimes he had to sneak out, always finding his way to the place where he'd met Sebastian. There he could let go of all the expectations and be himself instead of the person his family needed. A few carefully placed runes kept anyone from noticing him as he crept to through the building to the walkways that Sebastian had shown him. The perfect place to listen without having anyone notice him. Sitting down in their favorite spot, Alec sighed, closing his eyes to focus on the music but he couldn't stop thinking about Sebastian and how much he missed him.

There were times when Alec worried that something terrible had happened to his friend and others that he was able to convince himself that Sebastian was just busy. Hopefully he was safe and had just forgotten about the 'invisible boy' he'd met while listening to the symphony. Maybe someday he'd remember and Alec would hear from him again.

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Looking around the room, he glanced briefly at the bed and flushed slightly. There was no reason to be embarrassed about but he suddenly felt shy. They weren't going to do anything. He didn't even know if Sebastian would be interested. They hadn't seen each other in years. Sebastian could have a boyfriend or not think of Alec like that.

"Then Spiderman?" He sounded more hopeful than he expected, mentally wincing at his tone. He really needed to voice his opinion more often if he sounded that excited over seeing a movie. Or he needed to quit thinking about sitting on the bed, eating take out, and watching a movie like they were on a date instead of just catching up.

Moving into the room, he kept telling himself 'just friends' as he set down the plates. For a moment, he stared at the bed, wondering what exactly he should do. Every way of getting comfortable he thought of seemed a little too intimate.

Shaking off that thought, he started unlacing his boots, hoping that would be enough of a distraction. "You should sit down too." Which might give Alec an idea of what would be polite since he had no idea. It didn't seem right to just plop down on the bed the way Jace would.

"The Amazing Spider-Man." Sebastian smiled, removing his own shoes and climbing onto the bed. He started rearranging the pillows so they could be more comfortable, putting his and Alec's next to each other. And then slightly apart. And then together again. How close was too close?

Was he being clingy? Did Alec think he was being clingy? They hadn't seen each other in so long and Alec seemed to have missed him just as much so they could sit side by side.

So much going through his head all at once he actually felt nervous. Jack had been the only person other than Alec that he'd share a close friendship with. But they had also been lovers. So was inviting Alec to his room too much for Alec as a friend? Was Alec being hesitant about things or was he imagining it?

He settled back against his pillows and picked up the remote for the television. Alec was removing his shoes so he took the chance to watch him again.

"I still can't get over the shock of seeing you again. I'm so happy you must think I'm being ridiculous about everything."

"My little brother has the comics. Sometimes he lets me read them. When he's not mad at me for taking away his toys." Technically a stele wasn't a toy but he wasn't going to explain that to Sebastian or how disasters seemed to follow Max around. It might give Sebastian the wrong impression of his Max.

Watching Sebastian rearrange the pillows, he slowly began to relax. He was just as nervous as Alec even if Alec wasn't sure why. Sebastian had suggested the movie so why would he be acting shy?

Maybe this wasn't normal. Alec didn't really have a scale or any idea of what boundaries might be for a Mundane. His only real friends were Izzy and Jace and he couldn't use them as a model. Parabatai were different even among Shadowhunters and Izzy loved to drive him crazy.

Swinging his legs onto the bed, he gave Sebastian a small smile that steadied when his friend said he was happy to see him. "I'm just as happy. You're my first friend, Sebastian. You were the only person I could really be myself with." Alec had missed that when Sebastian had moved and it had worsened when all contact had stopped. "I just don't want to mess anything up. I'm not good at being social. At least that's what my family says."

Sebastian took Alec's hand in his the way Alec had earlier. Twining their fingers together. He thought their hands looked nice like this. Like they were meant to be together.

The thought made him blush, but he only held on tighter. "Being the oldest must be hard sometimes."

He frowned a bit at Alec and turned a little face him.

"I'm horrible at being social. But that didn't stop us from becoming friends. When I saw you in the theater it was the first time I wanted something so deeply I was willing to risk making my father angry. Or worse. And I haven't regretted that decision. So you can't mess things up."

"It's..." What could he say? He was the heir. He was supposed to continue the family name and protect his siblings. His parents had basically abandoned them except to show his siblings off to the Clave as the shiny examples of what Shadowhunters should be. It was hard but it felt wrong to say it. Except he hated lying to Sebastian about something that he could talk about. "It is but I have to be there for my family."

Looking down at their hands, Alec smiled softly, relaxing for what felt like the first time in years. He didn't have to pretend with Sebastian. He could be honest without worrying that he'd be a disappointment. He was with someone he cared about that had been an important part of his life since they'd met.

It seemed right that they were sitting together, holding hands, ready to eat dinner and watch a movie. Like this should be something that should happen every night.

"No. Everyone would have said we shouldn't be friends." Shadowhunters weren't supposed to be friends with Mundanes. Technically, they weren't supposed to be friends with anyone except Nephilim. "I felt the same way about you. I knew my family would be angry." Even now they'd be angry if they found out. "But I wanted to talk to someone who understood why I loved music. I hope you're right about not being able to mess things up. I don't want to lose you now that we found each other again."

"You won't." The response was instant and absolute. Sebastian understood the pain of losing someone, not just once, but twice. He'd missed Alec so very much when Jack had come into his life. And he'd missed Alec while Jack was still in his life. Jack hadn't replaced any part of the friendship he'd found with Alec.

It was the thought of losing Alec after everything that happened and finding him again that made his chest squeeze painfully tight. He turned away and wiped his cheek against his shoulder, reaching for the tray and pulling it closer.

"It took me a long time to find my way back to you. I'm not going anywhere, Alec."

He couldn't hide this from Alec. Not Alec. But he couldn't talk about it either. So he pulled Alec's hand to his lips and kissed it before slowly attempting to pull his fingers free. "Hungry?"

Alec was going to protest that Sebastian couldn't make that promise. Shadowhunters grew up knowing how dangerous life could be. Being a Mundane didn't change those risks. But he heard something in Sebastian's voice that made him hold back. He couldn't deny Sebastian's words when it seemed so important to his friend. Or when he saw that covert gesture that looked like Sebastian might be wiping away tears.

"Neither one of us is." He knew he should say more but he wasn't sure what. They both had been hurt by the distance that had been forced between them but what could he say to make that go away.

Still trying to think of something to comfort his friend, Alec his thoughts stilled when Sebastian kissed his hand. For a moment, he stared at Sebastian, breath catching slightly as he realized what had happened. That... that wasn't a normal friendship type gesture. Even parabatai didn't do things like that.

Maybe Sebastian really did think...

"I - uh - " Yes, he was but there was something he needed to do first before he tried to rationalize what Sebastian had done. His heart ached and he felt like he was about to confront a demon by himself but he had to see if he was reading things right. Keeping is fingers tangled with his friends, Alec leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to Sebastian's lips, hoping that he wasn't wrong.

Sebastian started to smile at the way Alec held onto his hand. His friend was promising the same and somehow he didn't doubt it would be true. They wouldn't be separated by anyone or anything outside of their friendship. This time they could choose what they wanted and they were choosing to be stay together.

He knew promises couldn't always be kept. Sometimes there were things out of their control. But having the choice made their promises to each other more real.

Like the touch of Alec's lips against his own. It surprised him in a way that seemed to freeze his thoughts and make his heart suddenly beat harder and faster. It was perfect and sweet and thrilling all at once and for a moment all Sebastian could do was be kissed and then stare.

Alec kissed him.

He'd read things wrong. Sebastian didn't react when he kissed him and the way he was staring... He shouldn't have done it. The Clave said it was wrong. Shadowhunters weren't supposed to be gay and they weren't supposed to have feelings for Mundanes.

Swallowing hard, he tried to hide the hurt that ached in his chest. At least Sebastian had promised that nothing would ruin their friendship. Slowly, he uncurled his fingers from Sebastian's ready to move off the bed if that was what his friend wanted. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that."

The loss of Alec's warmth was enough to make Sebastian blink and look down at their hands. At his hand. Alec was pulling away when all Sebastian wanted was to pull him in closer and...kiss him.

It wasn't a thought he needed to have. It wasn't a decision he needed to make. It wasn't even a question. He wanted Alec. He wanted to kiss him. And so he did. Lurching forward almost clumsily to grab Alec's face and hold him before he could move too far away. Not a soft, sweet press of lips. If Jack had taught him anything about himself it was that he couldn't let fear stop him from being who he wanted to be or keep him from expressing himself to the people he cared for most in this world. He'd learned too late what needed to be said and done, but he would not be too late this time.

If anything he was probably rushing things between him and Alec, but he could argue later that Alec had started it. Alec had kissed him. Not on the hand or the cheek. On the lips. And in that moment everything had become more clear to Sebastian.

He had always loved Alec.

And he kissed him with all the emotion he had tangled up inside of himself.

They couldn't stop being friends. Alec wasn't sure what he'd do if he lost Sebastian again. It'd felt like he was finally himself again after all the years of separation. How could he go back to living a hollow life after knowing what it was like to feel normal?

As he pulled his hand away, he couldn't stop staring at Sebastian's. He shouldn't have pushed. Sebastian's kiss had been just affection. It hadn't been because of any attraction his friend felt. It was no different than Jace hugging him after one of their fights. It didn't mean anything deeper than that.

He was telling himself that over and over when he felt hands on his face. Startling, he somehow ended up moving forward instead of away, instincts completely confused by Sebastian trying to kiss him.

The kiss wasn't like the ones he'd imagined. It was awkward and he barely managed not to collide with Sebastian but it was heartfelt. Years of yearning ached in his chest that he hadn't even realized had been there. For years he'd thought that Jace had been his first love but it really have been the shy boy he'd met at the symphony.

Sebastian had been his first, true friend. The person who he could be open and honest with. Why hadn't he realized that Sebastian was the one he had fallen for?

Parting his lips, he tried to return the kiss, unsure of what Sebastian would like but pouring all his hopes into it. His hand caught in his friend's shirt, tugging him closer as he fell back against the pillows, afraid that if he let go Sebastian would realize what he'd done and pull away.

Sebastian followed Alec, glad for the pull and the clear response that, yes, Alec wanted this. Wanted him. He parted his lips and curled his hands around Alec's head, fingers pushing into his hair. And it still wasn't close enough. He felt like he'd been deprived of something so very important and only now was realizing what it was.

Touching him, kissing him, feeling the heat radiating off his body, and remembering the day they had met. Alec's smile. His voice. His passion for music. They had talked about personal, sometimes painful, things that they could never talk to anyone else about, but they had also found happiness and comfort in those moments they could be themselves.

He didn't believe in love at first sight, not like in the books, but how could explain the feeling he had when he first saw Alec? How could it not be love? Innocent, yes, but he had loved Alec enough to risk so much just to be with him.

And now he could touch Alec. Hold him. Kiss him. Show him how deeply he'd touched his life and how much he wanted to give that back to him. Pushing up onto his knees and kissing Alec like he was the air he needed to breathe.

This was what he'd been waiting for. Maybe if they hadn't been separated for years he would have realized it sooner or maybe it would have made things worse for them both. At least now they were both old enough to understand what they wanted, who they wanted without being afraid of taking a chance.

His breath hitched as Sebastian's fingers brushed through his hair and a strange shock went through him. How long had it been since he'd let anyone touch him? How long had it been since he'd allowed it without being on guard constantly that he'd give away some emotion he thought he shouldn't feel?

Since the day that he'd said good bye to Sebastian.

There was nothing wrong with this or how he felt about his friend. Sebastian was the person who had helped him find a vital part of himself and now he was helping him find another part of his heart that he hadn't realized was lost. Or, more correctly, given to the boy he'd met at the symphony.

A boy that shared his love of music and understood his need to protect his family. The one who had shown him the best spots to listen to concerts and who had shared his painful secrets. How could he not want Sebastian closer? How could he resist touching and tasting the person who had meant so much to him from the day that they'd first met?

Whimpering softly into the kiss, his hands curled around Sebastian's hips and he pulled him closer so he was on top of him. It was probably too forward, pressing the two of them together so that there was almost no space between them but he couldn't think. He needed as much contact as possible, holding on to Sebastian as if he was afraid that if he let go, his friend would disappear.

Closer was good. Closer meant feeling more of Alec. Closer meant kissing him with his entire existence, intensely focused on fitting himself against Alec, holding him with passion and gentleness. As if Alec were the most precious thing he'd ever touched or held or kissed.

It felt as if he'd been holding back some part of himself he hadn't known he needed until the moment when Alec had kissed him and then suddenly everything made sense. Alec's lips, his touch, his warmth, the way he held him and made a sound that made Sebastian want to hear it again.

He pulled back just far enough to look into Alec's eyes, pulling his bottom lip between his own and sliding his hands against his cheeks. His eyes bright with emotion and an ache that urged him close again, kissing Alec's lips and cheek and jaw, moving his hands down to caress Alec's neck and shoulder. Fingers dipping under his collar and sleeve to brush against skin.

So many years he had missed Alec, longed to be with his friend again, and now being near him wasn't enough.

"I've missed you so very much." He could feel how warm his own breath was against Alec's neck.

For a few moments, all Alec could do was react, returning the kiss in a daze even as he tried to show Sebastian how much he wanted this. He'd never imagined anyone wanting him like this. He was the protector, the one that was gentle and careful. He'd never thought anyone would treat him like he was special, like he was some vital part of Sebastian that had just been found. Even if that was what it felt like for Alec.

Tentatively, his hands moved along Sebastian's sides and along his back. A part of him was certain that if he dared too much, Sebastian would vanish like a daydream. But fantasies weren't warm and solid, fitting against his body like they were meant to be together. They didn't kiss like Alec was as vital as air. They didn't taste like hints of tea and something he knew he'd get addicted to if Sebastian let him kiss him again.

Heart stuttering as he met Sebastian's eyes, he shivered at the hint of teeth against his lip. As he tried to return those kisses, his fingers slipped beneath Sebastian's shirt, tracing patterns lightly against his skin. He'd almost lost this. If he hadn't been at the symphony...

"I -" The rest turned into a low moan and his eyes slid closed as he arched up against Sebastian. Alec tried to remember what he was going to say but instead he tipped his head back, hoping that Sebastian would realize how sensitive that spot was. "I - missed you - every - every day." That was probably the right answer but at least it sounded mostly coherent.

An invitation Sebastian couldn't ignore. Alec's neck exposed and Sebastian parted his lips with an enthusiasm he hadn't felt this intensely. The way Alec responded to his touch and his kisses, the way his words stuttered and his hands found bare skin.

When he'd decided to go to the symphony he hadn't really believed he'd find Alec there. He had hoped. He had hoped so deeply it would be that easy. He had hoped Alec hadn't forgotten his love for music and would still visit. Finding Alec, having him this close after being apart for so long, was so much more than he had hoped for. And it seemed it was the same for Alec.

Alecs touches encouraged him to do the same and instead of teasing the edge of Alec's shirt he pulled it up and shoved his hands beneath the fabric while marking his neck.

He couldn't hold back a moan when Sebatsian's lips found his neck. The spot had never been that sensitive. Alec wouldn't have placed a rune there if it was. It had to be Sebastian that made that spot tingle and heat slide long his spine.

He'd imagined this before the letters had stopped, when he read Sebastian's words over and over and wondered about his best friend. Innocent and not so innocent curiosity as Alec realized that he wasn't 'normal'. A part of his heart had dimmed when his best friend disappeared and another began to star in those fantasies. But as he gasped and arched, trying to get more contact, he realized he'd never given up hope.

His trips to the symphony had saved his sanity when responsibility tried to crush him but each time he crept to their favorite spot, Alec had wished for Sebastian to be waiting for him. This time he had and Alec had been given those fantasies along with the friend he'd missed so much.

Biting his lip as Sebastian marked his neck, his hands slid down to cup Sebastian's ass. They were probably going too fast. It'd only been a few hours, maybe not even that, since they'd met at the symphony. But Alec couldn't stop himself from rocking his hips, grinding against Sebastian while trying not to make too many embarrassing sounds.

"Alec." Sebastian gasped, pulling back from the nice mark he'd left and rocking into the motion. Back into Alec's hands and forward to get more friction. Heat radiated everywhere and had the vague thought that if they were both naked they could feel each other's body heat as well as the cool sheets. But then his mouth was pressed against Alec's and the only thought he could manage was how happy he was to be kissing him again, but that didn't stop his hands from pushing Alec's shirt higher.

He knew what he wanted, what he needed, and he was hoping Alec would want the same thing. It didn't matter how long they had been apart or how short a time they had been together again. If Alec wanted this, wanted him, he would give him both and so much more.

"Alec." This time he said Alec's name with so much longing and affection, barely a breath between their lips and slowly rocking his hips against Alec's because it felt too good to stop. "I don't want to stop...but if you do..." He had to be sure Alec really wanted this with him.

He couldn't stop himself from grinning at the sound of his name. Most of what he'd been trying was instinct, the need to touch Sebastian keeping him from over-analyzing the situation. It had kept him from worrying that he might mess up and Sebastian would be disappointed. But hearing how breathless Sebastian sounded proved that his friend wanted this just as much as he did.

Making a pleased sound against Sebastian's lips, he deepened the kiss, dazed by the happiness he felt and almost tasted in that kiss. This wasn't one sided. Sebastian wanted him too. Maybe even more than just wanted him. They'd cared about each other for years. There had to be deeper emotions involved other than need.

Alec knew how to deal with desire. He pushed aside his own wishes for years. At least he had until he realized who had been at the symphony. Now he couldn't ignore temptation. Not when Sebastian was grinding against him and trying to pull off his shirt while acting so happy to have Alec in his life.

Letting out an impatient huff of breath that almost turned into a whimper, he nipped softly at Sebastian's lips. "I wouldn't have kissed you if I didn't want this." And he wouldn't be trying to find just the right angle and pressure to make that friction perfect if he didn't want this. "I want you, Sebastian. I have for years."

"I want you, too." Sebastian barely managed to get the words out before kissing Alec again. "I love you, Alec." Another kiss. Moving his hands from under Alec's shirt to wrap around his head, fingers in his hair, holding and tugging him closer. "I've loved you for years."

Jack had known Sebastian had met someone very dear to him. He hadn't hidden Alec from Jack. But also hadn't been allowed to tell Jack everything about Alec. The invisible best friend he wrote letters to. Jack had only known someone existed and the letters were a secret from his father. He'd understood having met Joshua.

They may be moving too fast, he may be speaking too soon, and Alec may change his mind if he didn't feel as strongly as Sebastian. But in his heart he knew. He could feel it and for once he didn't doubt himself. He knew and he wanted Alec to know, too. Whatever the consequences.

He felt like he was flying, finally free of the weight of all the doubts and lies that he had kept wrapped around his heart. This was what he'd denied for years. Not the realization that he preferred men but the truth of who it was that he loved. Sebastian had always held that place in his heart. He had been the one that had let Alec be himself and had shown him that there was nothing wrong with the gentleness he felt that no one else seemed to understand.

Jace cared and he had helped Alec as he struggled to find himself but it hadn't been the same. His parabatai had helped him become confident as a Shadowhunter. Sebastian had helped him realize that he could be more than just the warrior his family wanted him to be. He had been the one that had kept Alec from losing some vital part of himself as his responsibilities almost became too much.

Moving with the tug on his hair, he tried to move closer, making a frustrated sound when he realized that they really needed to be naked for that to happen. Returning those kisses, he stared up at Sebastian when they parted momentarily, eyes bright with awe as he realized what Sebastian had said. "I love you too. Maybe from the first time we met." Not like this of course but something had guided him to their secret hiding place when Alec had always feared breaking the rules and had never been interested in Mundanes. "You were the first person who liked me."

It sounded like something they would have said as kids but it was true. Sebastian hadn't cared about Alec's family connections or that he was part angel. He'd liked Alec, not the Shadowhunter image. Maybe that was why he could ignore all the rules that said that this was wrong and follow his heart instead of falling back on logic. "I don't... I've never, but I want to... with you."

It was true for Sebastian as well. The moment he saw Alec he'd wanted him. He had wanted to be near him, to talk to him, to see him smile and hear him laugh. He loved the look in Alec's eyes when he was so deeply lost in the music. It was a passion that matched his own and simply being near Alec had made him feel comfortable with himself. He knew he had loved Alec from that moment. And now he knew Alec had loved him, too.

"I do like you. Very much." His heart was beating too fast, too hard, but he felt perfectly happy. "I want to with you, too, Alec." He kissed Alec again, not wanting to move away, but they couldn't continue comfortably with food on the bed and clothes in the way. He also needed to grab something important.

"Don't move. I'll be right back." He kissed him again because how could he not. Moaning softly against Alec's lips and wishing he could somehow just make everything perfect so he wouldn't have to leave Alec. Whimpering when he did pull away and quickly moved off Alec's lap and onto the floor.

He reached for the tray of food and rushed-walked back to the kitchen before he could change his mind about what he needed to do. Walking being uncomfortable when he was so aroused he was sure he wouldn't last very long once they got their clothes off. Thinking about that not helping at all he decided, leaving the tray on the counter and hurrying back to the bedroom. He slid on the hardwood in his socks when he remembered he had to stop at the bathroom to get what he needed. "I'm okay!"

Jack had always made all of this seem so effortless and romantic.

It was like all the years of separation didn't matter. The time without letters didn't seem to exist or the miles that had kept them apart. They had always cared about each other, music drawing them together in ways that Alec had never expected. He'd never thought he'd find another boy who was drawn to sweeping melodies or who could explain the different parts of music to him without criticizing him for loving something other than fighting. He'd never thought he'd find someone who would share those gifts with him or share the passion he felt whenever he got caught up in the music.

Looking up at Sebastian, he remembered the smiles that had been directed at him and the way Sebastian's eyes lit up when they began describing music to each other. Or when his friend tried to explain some part of Mundane culture that excited him and Alec didn't understand. There'd never been any ridicule. He'd just accepted that Alec lived a sheltered life and was patient with him. Somehow Sebastian had taught him how to care about someone who wasn't family and how to like himself and Alec hadn't even realized it until now.

Tangling his fingers in Sebastian's hair, he teased his lips, nipping lightly before his friend could pull away. "Even if I'm not really sure how?" It was embarrassing to admit. He hadn't ever wanted to date, at least not anyone Izzy suggested. Jace was off limits and Sebastian had been thousands of miles away. There really hadn't been any point in experimenting when he couldn't be with someone he cared about.

Nipping Sebastian again when he moved away, Alec knew he couldn't follow that order. He had to move. As Sebastian left the room, Alec fought back a smile when he realized how difficult walking was for his date.

Date? They were going to have sex. Calling Sebastian his date couldn't be wrong. Maybe he could call him more than that later when he could think about more than just being naked with the person he'd fallen in love with years ago.

Pulling off his shirt, he started stripping off the rest of his clothes, hiding his weapons beneath the bed since there was nowhere else to place them. Hopefully Sebastian wouldn't see them or if he did, he'd think Alec was just worried about being mugged. At least he didn't have his bow or seraph blades with him.

Looking up when he heard footsteps, he grinned when he saw Sebastian slide by. "You'd better be. I'm not going to be happy if you end up getting hurt because you can't stop properly." Settling back on the pillows, he tried to ignore how aroused he was and how cold the bed was without Sebastian with him. He'd be there soon. There was no reason to be nervous.

Sebastian completely forgot how embarassing it was to be carrying a bottle of lubricant in one hand when he returned to the bedroom and got caught off guard. Alec was in his bed and he was naked.

"I'm okay." He repeated, slightly breathless. Alec was just as beautiful on the outside as he was on the inside. Even his tattoos were beautiful. "I can show you how."

Saying it out loud was almost as embarassing as realizing he was holding a bottle of lubricant. Which he tossed onto the bed so he could start stripping off his clothes. Pulling his shirt over his head as he moved towards the bed.

"If you're too nervous we could watch Spider-Man instead." He was blushing and teasing and then hoping Alec wasn't too nervous. He couldn't be too nervous. He'd stripped the moment Sebastian had left the room. Alec wanted this as much as he did which made him very happy. He removed his pants just as quickly as he'd removed his shirt and stopped at the foot of the bed with his fingers tucked under the waistband of his boxer-briefs. Tipping his head to the side a bit he smiled coyly. "I heard it's a really great movie."

"I kind of know how." Alec knew some of the basics. Curiosity had helped him figure out some of it but this was different. Looking things up on the internet and trying things to figure out what he liked wasn't the same as being Sebastian. "I just haven't been with someone before."

He watched Sebastian, wondering what he'd think of his marks. They had to seem strange to a Mundane and his scars... They weren't bad but they were obvious and to someone who lived a 'normal' life they would seem strange.

But Sebastian didn't seem to mind. He didn't even seem to notice them, looking at Alec like he was beautiful instead of thinking they were ugly like most Mundies did.

Swallowing hard, he watched Sebastian's shirt slide upward, exposing his stomach. His hand caught in the blanket beneath him as Alec reminded himself that he shouldn't rush things. Sebastian was probably just as nervous as he was even if he had done this before.

Alec convinced himself not to rush things until Sebastian started teasing him. Making a sound that was almost a growl, he darted forward, grabbing Sebastian's wrists and dragging him onto the bed. Leaning over Sebastian, he grinned down at his... lover? That felt right. Sebastian wasn't just his friend or his date. He was the person Alec loved. "You're better than any movie."

Where Words Fail, Music Speaks (for dulcet_cellist)

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